Mirroring Others What is In Ourselves

This has been another interesting day. Wow.

First, I have to say I am seeing some results because I'm dressing and acting like an intelligent highly sought after grownup. Yesterday, for the first time in forever, I decided to get up, head to my meeting, and dress like a grown-up. Instead of wearing cool hip dress pants that are bellbottom or whatever the latest style is with a white shirt and pearls (my staple outfit)...I pulled out this gorgeous sweater dress set (navy) that I bought online on sale from Talbot's, put on this wonderful thick woven black belt on the dress (under a long flowing matching sweater), and black suede boots. One long strand of pearls and then a silver chain with glass beaded frames on it...pearl earrings....a nice bracelet. Voila. I went to my meeting not only with confidence but with charm and somewhere along the way, even more intelligence and focus (not sure how that happened!).

Now, in the past I would have not wanted to wear a dress on a cold winter's day. I would have barely done my hair (passing, not great)...and worn a much more subdued - blending in kind of outfit. However, Santa (aka, me) had brought me a gorgeous pair of suede knee high boots that were to die for, from Nordstrom's, on sale, for $119.00 (which isn't alot but when you don't take care of yourself too often it seems like a lot) . . .

Anyway, I had these new boots and I was dying to wear them so I finally built an entire outfit around them. I did my hair to the max - washed, dried, and curled it. Put moroccan oil on it, great look, great makeup, and everything!! So I'm proud of me for daring to be more than I normally dare to be...and it paid off big time. I felt good, my meeting was fantastic, I didn't have a moment of unconfidence. I believe that one way that we do NOT take care of selves, is to self-sabotage ourselves so that when we need to be confident, we have all kinds of excuses why we are not....it sounds crazy but it's true. Very sadly true.

Anyway, here's another thought from my great friend and coach Christine Laureano - (www.christinelaureanocoaching.com)

"When thinking about how everyone else treats you -- don't forget that their behaviors are their own (it's their stuff), but what the mirror is...let me give you an example...I know a woman that runs a foundation (she's a spiritual person and knows this, but yet it still comes up)... she tries to get her board and other members to participate more (and enthusiastically) with the fundraising, etc. for the organization.

She gets frustrated and says "They don't want to do anything...%$#@--it!!! Those
%$#@-ing people don't get it." Now you see that she has a %$#@-it kind of attitude. . . So what is refected back to her is . . . no one gives a f*.

We attract what we give, even when we have the best of intentions. Sometimes the way we perceive people and situations is how we really feel. It's about us, it's not about them. "

I get it - I'm perceiving in people how I myself feel. So when I see everyone hating me, or putting me down it's two things - this is how I treat myself. And, I've also taught them that this is how to treat me.

No more. Total lightbulb moment.

Here's more from Christine:

"The self-talk that we use is a perfect way that stuff gets reflected back. If we think 'hey, no one cares about what I think.' or 'No one seems to understand how much I do,' what is the self-talk mirror? 'No one cares....no one understands.'

Though you are an extremely caring and giving person, the subconscious mind is very literal and takes the self talk at face value. We have, on average, 50,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day.

85% of those thoughts are negative. That's a lot. Being aware is the first step, catching yourself is the second step, changing the way you respond is the third.

Do not get frustrated...it will all work out! Trust in the Universe and allow the positive flow to carry you."

Christine - OM! You cannot have too much OM in the world.