Wondering What to Do Now

So...you try to get healthy. Okay, drink water, check. Try not to drink too much. Check. No wheat. Check. Minimize dairy. Check. And...try to be self-aware? Try to be aware of your diet. Your food intake. Your water intake. Losing weight or gaining weight? Feeling bloated? Do I feel like myself today? Am I being genuine? my authentic self? I find that hard to answer sometimes. I wonder at times during the day, who I am...who people think I am. I ignore it most of the time because that type of thinking has become debilitating.

But....now what? Now that I've completely cleaned my car...organized my cabinets (not all of them...but you get the point...stopped eating toxic foods....I am found that, eerily, I'm left with my own self and my own thoughts, my own self esteem...and really, the what now question.

Now that I'm actually taking care of myself, I see that NOT taking care of yourself is a way to mask -- from yourself -- your true feelings, your true motives, the world around you, what is and isn't happening in your life, your relationships, and so on.

More and more, I am thinking that NOT taking care of yourself is some sort of crutch.